It's midnight, the conversation has run dry and everyone knows it's time for you to pick up that guitar that's been sitting in the corner.
You've been biding your time all night, knowing that your chance will come to impress the ladies with your sexy, masculine, yet gentle love songs. All played on that crappy non-branded acoustic guitar that hasn't been tuned for years.
Now is your chance.
Dude! You need some serious songs to impress the ladies. And here they are. Practice well. Practice hard. Remember you're eye contact, practice your winks.
You're guaranteed not to be going home alone.
Billy Ocean - 'Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into My Car'
A classic girl catcher this song. Who is that lady, coming down the street? It's a bit of a tricky one this - to get the funky rhythm correct on that dodgy acoustic guitar you find at parties - but if you practice it, it's a real winner with the ladies.
They. Will. Love. You.
Jimmy Buffett - 'Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw'
If you're feeling brave and she's sitting right next to you then this is a good one to start with. Originally written under the pseudonym "Marvin Gardens", this song was originally a B side for big Jimmy boy. It's kind of a country swinging type song so if you have a cowboy hat now would be a good time to get it out.
Chuck Berry - 'My Ding a Ling'
You want her to play with your ding-a-ling? Just reel off this classic Chuck Berry song. His only number one hit strangely enough.
Color Me Badd - 'I Wanna Sex You Up'
Got a white suit with one arm missing? This is the song for you. Three weeks at number one in the UK hit parade. Ooh.
Ricky Martin - 'She Bangs'
Long before he came out the closet, Ricky helped us all realise just what the ladies like. Ooh the subtle double entendres. This songs was co-written with the chap who wrote Bon Jovi's 'Living On A Prayer'.
Howlin' Wolf - 'Back Door Man'
Giant of the blues and scary man, Howlin' Wolf brings us this intriguing tale of woe, misery and general hanky panky. Use it to woo your special lady.
Unknown - 'Baa Baa Black Sheep'
Only use this one if all else fails. A Medieval classic and bound to hypnotise the girls. If you're short on chord skills this one is a winner with only 3 chords involved. Hey, the Beatles only needed 3 chords so don't dismiss it.